Uusimmat

Wanhan kertausta: pelottavan tosia pelialatarinoita

29.11.2011 21:15 Jukka O. Kauppinen

Pitkästä aikaa Matkailua pelialalla -sarjakuvaa lukiessani onnistuin jotenkin löytämään Domesta vanhan uutisen vuodelta 2006, johon olin onnistuneesti löytänyt todellisia  kauhutarinoita pelialalta. Tarinoita, joita pelintekijät olivat itse kokeneet. Vahvan lollahduksen jälkeen jutut täytyy tietysti kierrättää.

Ensin: Matkailua pelialalla. Suomalaisen pitkän linjan pelintekijän totta ja fantasiaa sekoittava tarina hulluuden syövereihin. Stripit ovat käänteisessä järjestyksessä, eli katso että luet ensimmäiseltä sivulta alkaen.

Lue juttu: Matkailua pelialalla 1994-2009

Sitten tämä vanha juttu: Peliteollisuuden outouksia

Muutama lainaus:

  • A pc game was shipped that was known not to work on some %20-30 of pcs – ”We’ll patch it later”
  • Game controls/settings that actually were broken/non-functional in the shipping product and no one noticed
  • A producer having a nervous breakdown at 1am the night before a 10am milestone with weeks of work left to do on the project and the entire company’s budget depending on meeting the milestone
  • Someone from management trying to force the development team to implement a level with a 100 or so bone animated creatures when the machine could handle 2-3 max and the team getting poor reviews for failing to live up to the task
  • Funding current late and over budget projects by signing up new projects that the company has no possible way of working on
  • A very senior, very long time employee getting into what he thought was an hour long light-hearted debate with the president of the company over the project schedule and state in front of the entire team and realizing it wasn’t so light-hearted the next day when he was fired
  • An artist who without permission had every computer in the company running as his personal renderfarm each night for his reel.

Ja tämä uskomaton heitto King Hitleristä ja hänen tyrannosauruksestaan:

Oh, yes, you’ll have a sniper rifle that is ”more functional” than any other ever made because it glows and shines a spotlight beam on the target you’re aiming at. All guns have muzzle flashes that need to be a minimum of 4 feet wide. Of course, the final boss is Hitler II himself, and when you seemingly kill Hitler the first time, it’s revealed that he’s actually a liquid chrome shapeshifter who has joined with a neural network in order to become the ultimate being. So now you have to kill ”King Hitler”… and then it’s revealed that the neural network was just using Hitler to get to you in order to find the supreme human (in order to combine with you making a neural net cyborg), thereby making you the new World’s Fuhrer so that you can rule the world with an iron hand (oops… I mean, ”chrome hand”) in your own image.

I mean, where else can you find a game where Hitler rides on a T-Rex?

Lukekaa ja itkekää: Peliteollisuuden outouksia

Lue myös

LoL on jo suurempi kuin WoW

Skyrim teki historiaa Japanissa

Star Wars: The Old Republic -ennakko (PC)

SteelSeries Merc Stealth – FPS-pelaajien häivenäppis

Muropaketin uusimmat