9-vuotias kirjoitti terävän The Avengers 2 -arvion miestenlehteen: ”Thor pilaa kaiken”

The Avengers: Age of Ultron sai Dome.fi:n arvostelussa kohtalaisen viileän vastaanoton ja kolme tähteä. Kukaan ei suuttunut.

Arvostelu: Meluisa The Avengers: Age of Ultron on onnistunut vain osittain

Toisin kävi, kun 9-vuotias elokuvien ystävä kirjoitti oman arvionsa Esquire-lehteen.

Nimettömäksi jääneen muksun teksti kuului seuraavasti:

”If you like movies about robots who make jokes, or movies about girls singing lullabyes to the Hulk, or movies about cities that float into the air for no reason, Age of Ultron will be right up your alley. It was not up my alley.

The first Avengers was really good. I don’t know what happened with this one. It felt like it was really short but I was happy to get out of the theater. The very first scene is the best scene. A bunch of people in the forest killing each other. Do you know what surprised me the most? Every line had a swear word in it. The first word that they said in the whole movie was the S-H word.

There were a lot of people I didn’t really know. There was Scarlet Witch. I didn’t really know what she was doing. Then there was Quicksilver who just ran around with his Dutch accent [ed. note: Not a Dutch accent]. Then there was this new guy who I didn’t really understand with a red face who gets born about two hours into it.

They go to South Africa at one point. I don’t know why they do. They just do. And the Hulk goes on a rampage and tries to kill Iron Man, and then Iron Man gets all huge, and they fall into a building and their body weight makes it all fall down. That was the best scene. Except the part where all the superheroes try to pick up Thor’s hammer but it’s too heavy.

They had a lot of the same jokes repeating each other.

My point of view is that Thor ruins the Avengers. It doesn’t make sense. If you had Thor, why would you bring Black Widow? Why would you bring Green Arrow [ed. note: he means Hawkeye]? What’s this woman with a gun going to do? Why’s this guy shooting arrows? They have a god with them who cannot die. A guy who is good at shooting arrows or a girl who is good at shooting guns wouldn’t make a particle of difference.

Age of Ultron was not my favorite. I would not recommend it. The last time I checked on Rotten Tomatoes it had a score of 72. I would give it a 46. Maybe lower. Maybe a 39.

And by the way one of the characters, Quicksilver, he shouldn’t be in the Avengers. He’s actually a part of the X-Men.”

Ihailtavan tarkkanäköistä analyysia. Suoraan sanoen parempaa, kuin mihin me omissa arvioissamme aina yllämme. Totta kai voimme epäillä maailmanloppuun asti, onko teksti oikeasti lapsen kirjoittamaa, mutta leikitään nyt mukana ja todetaan että kyllä on.

Ainakin Esquiren kommentoijat ovat ottaneet tekstin tosissaan ja nähneet asiakseen alkaa ojentaa kakarakriitikkoa.

Palautteen taso on tätä luokkaa:

”The premise for this whole article is false–the movie was actually made for me: a middle-aged guy that grew up on comics books, and has enough disposable income to totally geek out and buy the movie, the toys, etc in an effort to re-capture the youth that is quickly disappearing in the rearview mirror. It was made for the geeks that read every blog post about the who’s and why’s, looked at all the production stills and followed the negotiations between Marvel and Fox to allow Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch to appear in both films. It was made of the geeks that watch a less-than-stellar show like Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. simply because it is part of the MCU. It is made for the geeks that actually know what the MCU stands for. It is made for the geeks that are scared they will have their first heart attack before we finally get to see Thanos on screen for any longer than a fleeting cameo (2019 or 2020). Stand aside 9 year olds, this isn’t your movie. It is mine. And I loved it.”

Ironiaa vai ei? Toivomme todellakin että kyllä on.

Lisää Esquiren aikuislukijoiden näkemyksiä Age of Ultron -arviosta voi lukea täältä.

Lähde: Esquire